Pebble In The Shoe

Everyone knows that a pebble in the shoe is most irritating and frustrating.  Especially when you’ve tried to get it out and it refuses to fall out as easily as it hoped in.  You balance on one foot, take the other maddening pebble ridden shoe off, shake it once but just as you do that, you find yourself suddenly placed on an invisible ball which sends you in all directions as you desperately cling to balance. 

A wife can be that too…a pebble in the shoe.  Irritating and frustrating or as Elvis Presley put it, a “thorn in the side of a man.”  Obviously we could say the same about men but the point is…realizing when you’re the pebble and when you’re the shoe. 

Proverbs 31:12

¹² She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

It may not seem like much but wives can either be a husband’s greatest rock for support or they can be that irritating little pebble that brings their world into chaos.  If a husband feels sexually frustrated, unsupported, unappreciated, disrespected, or unloved, his world then becomes unbalanced and more stressful. 

Believe it or not though, so does ours.  Why… because we know we’re not being the rock he needs, instead we’re being the pebble causing further irritation and discomfort.   

1 Peter 3:9

⁹ not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; 

for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.

Back as far as Adam and Eve we’ve tempted our husbands and nagged them to death as Delilah did Samson.  We’ve laughed within and out loud when we thought something was ridiculous… regardless of Who the commandment was from.  Because of this, a husband frustrated and humiliated by his wife, may feel neglected and become embittered towards her.  

Colossians 3:19

¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and do not 

be embittered against them.

Abraham could have been bitter towards Sara after she laughed at the word of God but she was considered a faithful and submissive wife.  We aren’t perfect either but our aim should always be that our husbands will rise and praise us for our actions of love not reflect on all the evil irritations they endured.

Proverbs 31:28-29

²⁸ Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

²⁹ "Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all."

So why be a pebble when you can be a rock?  

The Heart of a Harlot

From the moment we are little, we are taught by our Christian mom’s how to act like a lady, sit like a lady and talk like a lady.  Of course you could replace the word lady with Christian but it meant the same thing regardless of how your mom said it.

One way, as a lady, we were NOT raised to be like....is a harlot.  Unless it's like Rahab.  Rahab was a harlot but more importantly she was a believer in God and His power.   She had heard of all the stories reported of God’s power and might, like when the Israelites crossed the Red Sea.  So when Joshua sent two of his men to Jericho to spy out the land and they sought shelter with her, she knew what she had to do.  She hid the two spies from harm on her roof because she knew they were men of God.  We can also note that she had great faith in God that even as the city would be utterly destroyed she and her household would be saved as long as she did what was commanded of her.  Rahab’s heart was faithful to God by her obedience. 

Hebrews 11:31

³¹ By faith Rahab the harlot did not perish along with those who were disobedient, after she had welcomed the spies in peace.

You would think, being a harlot, Rahab’s heart wouldn’t be in the right condition for obedience to God.  But unfortunately we can find our hearts being hindered more so than a harlot’s.  In the midst of cleaning, cooking and caring for our kids we sometimes forget that marriage is an awesome gift from God.  

A gift that man and wife can seek comfort in each other, satisfying each others mental, physical and sexual needs.  This blessed gift was so important to get right that it was given with commandments, so our prayers would not be hindered. 

1 Peter 3:7

⁷ You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

As young wives we are often hindered through the teaching of this particular part of God's gift (sexual needs).  Why... because it was taught accurately as being wrong before marriage, however taught so much though, that we have a mental moral block when it comes to intimacy with our husband.  An unconscious block put there because it was never taught again how sex is good and pure after marriage.  

Basically we have the idea intimacy should be put in a closet and never played with, like that ceramic tea set you received as a gift when you were little.  We are taught that a “lady” who enjoys being intimate with her husband must be a harlot or maybe another dude. =0) But we should keep in mind, according to the scriptures the marriage bed is defiled through fornication (sex outside of marriage) and adultery.    

Hebrews 13:4 

⁴ Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

So we can conclude from this passage that a wife is then NOT judged by the wearing of sexy clothing for her husband nor dare I say it, no clothing at all in the bedroom.  Nor is she judged by her actions with her husband even if they do seem to you more fitting… for the “heart of a harlot”.   Just as Peter was instructed, that which is considered clean by God's word... let not man or woman call it unclean.   

  

When Love Hurts

Why does love hurt so badly?  No, no…I’m not referring to that fight you just had with your husband because he hurt your feelings…that’s a totally different article.  I’m speaking of a physical pain that over 7 million women suffer with every time they are intimate with their husbands.  And that’s only the number of women with endometriosis, that is, an illness that causes horrible cramping, severe bleeding, and painful intercourse.

Other illnesses include; pelvic inflammatory disease, uterine prolapse, retroverted uterus, uterine fibroids, cystitis, irritable bowel syndrome, hemorrhoids or ovarian cysts, which may cause great soreness for women during sex.  Having a hysterectomy, cancer treatments, stress, joint inflammations and many other substantial reasons may also cause tenderness. 

Although for you, an illness or surgical procedure, may not be your reason why love hurts.  Your intimate discomfort may be from a lack of self esteem towards your body image or depression.  Believe it or not, but psychological ailments, can cause significant pain too. 

But regardless of why, women who experience pain in doing an activity, most often, will just avoid that particular activity.  This reasoning makes perfect sense unless that activity is having sex with your husband.  Why… because the painful illness is still there AND you’ve increased your marital problems.  Such as becoming depressed, a potentially severe problem that is increased not only for you but for your husband as well. 

Through these acts of intimacy we connect and feel each others love.  If you’re always saying no, for any reason, your desire for your husband is decreased with each denial.  Not to mention, Satan’s temptations are extremely increased for you and your husband every time either of you seeks to fill the void.

Genesis 3:16
¹⁶ To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you."

So how can we overcome the pain and enjoy sex?  By using what comes natural, endorphins.  Endorphins are natural chemicals released from the pituitary gland in the brain that acts as a natural pain reliever.  This release can be obtained through several ways; chocolate (as if we needed another excuse), peppers, massage therapy, acupuncture, meditation and of course…sex. 

Although reaching that last particular endorphin releasing level can prove to be very difficult when your body is riveting in severe pain.  Being one of the 7 million women with more than one health issue, I know how difficult overcoming the pain can be.  Satan would have you believe there is no hope of it getting better. 

Look for ways to enhance yourself to such levels of “endorphin releasing” before you and your husband are intimate.  Of course this may not take all the pain away but will certainly, or at the very least, make sex more tolerable.  With time, it may even become quite pleasurable for you.  

Whatever you do, try to take the pain away…. not the sex!

1 Corinthians 7:5 
⁵ Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

The Leaky Faucet

The leaky faucet,  aka…Chinese torture device, the eventual watering hole for the dog or the annoying drip, drip, drip from your bathroom.  Unless it’s being used as a torture device this leak can go on for days, weeks, months and yes even years believe it or not.  I personally let one go for a long time under a sink for the simple fact I did not think it was hurting anything.  There was hardly any water there, just the occasional drip. 

However over time the leak did become worse, dripping more and more. Finally I saw that the drip was worse but still not too concerned, I put a bucket under it.  That would take care of the problem.  Boy was I wrong.  Eventually I was pouring out that bucket every day.  The boards underneath ended up warped and molded from it splashing and running over. 

The leaky faucet could have been fixed as soon as I saw it but I didn’t want to.  I didn’t want to take the time and effort when I first saw the problem.  Mainly because I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal until it was too late. 

We can look at problems within our marriage the same way.  A lack of desire can go unfixed for years causing severe emotional problems not only for our husbands but for ourselves.  It can cause depression and further lack of libido.  Which for most married men, is pretty much that Chinese torture device for a slow and painful death.  Ultimately ruining what could have been a very happy marriage because it became a chore that we were unwilling to fix, regardless of what God says. 

1 Corinthians 7:3

³ The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

So from one problem into another like that leaky faucet and rotting boards is the casual viewing of pornographic pictures, videos, or reading of erotic novels that can spiral into addictions for our husbands (or vice versa) if not “fixed” when they are first recognized as temptations.  

Those drips that were no big deal, ARE the sins that can and will cause further, possibly, irreversible damage to the whole family if not fixed before it’s too late.       

Psalm 32:3

³ When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away Through my groaning all day long.

Why are these problems overlooked by both husband and wife?  Well... because TV has glorified this particular problem to the point that couples even joke to other couples about it.  It has become a normal thing for married couples to not have sex.  If you will...like those warped wet boards, our views on sex and marriage become warped too. 

So how and when does sex stop in a marriage?  For most couples once the honeymoon is over, the kids are born and the wife has lost interest (because she no longer wants to have babies) and the husband is frankly just tired of asking.  That’s when it stops!   

And so begins the leaky faucet….

Hello My Name Is…Satan

Proverbs 31:12

¹² She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.

It seems like this verse and other commandments saying wives should love their husbands shouldn’t even be in the Bible.  If you’re getting married you’re already in love…right?  So why all the commandments to do so?  I mean...no wife wants to do EVIL to her husband.  And yet I’ve had a wife tell me…

“I can’t stand to even hear my husband breathing.” 

Wow!  Really?  Yes! (just to answer your question)  Ok so maybe you aren’t thinking of ways to “off” your husband but can you honestly say you’ve done him NO evil?  I’ve certainly had my moments of doing evil towards my husband.  No one is perfect.  The point of my articles is to help us become better wives for our husbands, which will ultimately, make us a better Christian for God.  

But how could we have done our husband evil...

*When we don’t show our husbands respect as head of the house or when we don’t allow them to even be head of the house, we’re doing them evil.  You may have heard men say, “My wife wears the pants in our house!”  This isn’t funny, it’s down right sinful. 

 1 Peter 3:6

⁶ just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. 

*When we don’t show them appreciation, we’re showing them evil by letting Satan fill our hearts with thoughts of, “it’s his job as my husband to do this and that.”  

*When we deny our husband his sexual needs we do him evil.  If your husband has asked you to be intimate every night of the week and you’ve said “NO” 6 out of 7…you’re NOT meeting his needs.  You’re doing just enough to get by. 

Judges 16:16

¹⁶ It came about when she pressed him daily with her words and urged him, that his soul was annoyed to death.

*When we nag our husband constantly to get what we want, such as Delilah did Samson, we're doing him evil.  Think about this, no one associates the name Delilah with being an excellent wife who loved her husband.  

How will others or your children view your love for your husband?  Will your husband praise you?  Or will he think of all the evil you have done to him?

Proverbs 31:28 

²⁸ Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

Remember you’re setting an example, 

it’s up to you which example others see!

LOL

Genesis 18:12

¹² Sarah laughed to herself, saying, "After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?"

Ok well Sarah didn’t “Laugh Out Loud” but the Lord heard it loud and clear.  Just like He hears us each time we laugh, roll our eyes, or give a huff at His commandment…

1 Corinthians 7:3

³ The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

Understanding the wife’s role is important and not one to scoff at.  God created woman as a helpmeet to man.  Not because Adam was clueless and too stupid to feed himself.  Nor did He create woman to be man's sex slave but a wife willing to help meet his needs.  Neither was she put here on this earth to tell man how great or little his needs should be. 

Genesis 2:18

¹⁸ Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." 

It’s no secret that TV shows and movies alike want to make sex and marriage a laughing matter.   Scenes where men have to beg their wives for sex and vice versa are the norm for comedy.  Divorce is conveyed as hilarious with fighting and degrading remarks towards their Ex.  Teens are glorified for their disobedience to parents and their sexual behavior so long as the producers, at least, send the message of having safe sex. 

On tv a clueless husband/dad is hilarious.  A nagging wife is the prudent one.  Gone are the days of tv when both parents love each other and both are smart responsible adults. 

In real life, it’s no LOL matter when men hold up in their “man caves” filling the void because their wives refuse to be intimate with them except on special occasions or vice versa.  On the other hand, it’s certainly not easy to be intimate with your husband when you have been yelled at all day due to his frustrations and stress or again…vice versa. 

If you are fighting and frustrated, most likely, both of you feel taken for granted by the other one.  Remember, respect and appreciation go a long way in a marriage. It’s called manners…something that is somehow forgotten once the stress of bills, family and every day needs are piling up.  We should never look to movies or sitcoms to understand our husband’s needs.  Certainly not Hollywood’s view of how to deal with problems such as money and sex.  

Communication between a husband and wife using 

God’s word is all that’s necessary.   

    

A New Diet Plan

In a previous article, I mentioned how my doctor yelled at me to lose weight.  If only he knew how bad I despised diets, because for me, the moment I think about going on a diet I’m suddenly starving to death.  Trust me it’s not pretty.  I get very cranky and snap at everyone because I’m hungry.  It’s really not fair that counting calories can’t be like counting sheep.  1-2-3….z Z z Z z…mmm chocolate cake, cookies, candy, chips and then a quick dip in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate River and not a single pound added.  That’s a great dream. 

A diet is difficult to stay faithful to, especially when everyone around you suddenly seems to push food and desserts in your direction more so than usual.  Honestly it doesn’t feel like you can get away from it.  Even the chocolate bars at the grocery store are staring you down at the checkout counter.  You begin to rationalize.  I’ll go for a walk, my sugar feels low, no one will know, and even though you have a few healthy snacks there in your cart, it doesn’t seem to stop you from snatching one up after a few days or weeks of being on a diet.

Unfortunately as wives we like to put our husband’s on a diet too.  I’m not meaning the diet plan of, you need to lose weight or you’re going to die, diet.  I know I shouldn’t tell on anyone but I’ve also had men admit to stopping for a burger after work before going home to that special diet.  Anyway…back to my point.  I’m referring to the sexual diet. 

This diet consist of… we’ll be intimate once a week and that’s all you get.  We rationalize this diet plan by thinking; “Single men would kill to have a wife they could be intimate with once a week.  Hello…that’s 4 times a month.”  Oh wait you have to exclude one week for PMS.  Ok so 3. 

It has actually been said to me by a wife... “I love that week so my husband HAS to leave me alone.”   

1 Corinthians 7:3 

The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

For some reason we think we have the right to say just how much or often that “duty” entails for our husband.  Once a week, twice a week or maybe not at all that week.  To me that’s no different than if your husband had the right to tell you exactly how much you get to eat in a week.  

But unfortunately, we often think in terms of intimate moments as a dog treat for good behavior.  Or if they’ve constantly bugged us enough we’ll pick up the ball and throw it just to get them to leave us alone for a moment. 

If you find yourself thinking this way or maybe just not quite so willing to provide exactly what your husband truly needs then you need a new diet plan minus the diet. 

As I’ve said before….

“You’ll never want something more often…if you never have it enough… to miss it!”

So please, give your hubby his “Just Desserts” and yours too! 

Modest Mayhem

When I write about staying sexy for our husbands, I certainly don’t mean a massive make over or character change.  Basically... just understand that it’s ok to be sexy for your husband and why it’s important for the both of you.   I've known women who feel they are more modest wearing jeans all the time because they may accidentally fall or somehow become immodest.  


I know how these women feel.  Its funny how many times I have tried to be perfectly modest and it backfires.  I've even had an entire colony of fire ants crawl up my jeans rendering me no choice but to strip on the side of a very busy highway.  Talk about your scenic view that day.      


I've even had one of those days where I start off wearing a beautiful dress strutt’n myself across a crowded room full of people.  Feeling oh so (modestly) sexy as I possible can, oh and don’t forget the theme music playing in my head “I’m sexy and I…” (screech) because that’s as far as I got.  Why... because it was interrupted by someone pointing out… that the back of my dress was tucked into my pantyhose the whole time.  O_o

I must say, I’m also thankful for the movie stars who have made tripping and falling sexy and an endearing quality.  I can assure you, when I'm wearing heels and walking across a room. I will find the slick spot and whether or not I bust it with my heels in the air, I will definitely feel it the next day after tensing up every muscle in my body to stop the fall.  

But don't let any mishaps of your own discourage you from trying to be a modest sexy wife for your husband.  Just laugh and go with it.  A sudden fall is not considered being immodestly dressed.

Understand...sexy does NOT 

mean immodest apparel! 

(neither does falling :0)

Backyard Paradigm

There is no guaranteed way or example of feeling sexy for us to follow.  You can buy an outfit straight off the mannequin, bat your eyes, and make pouty lip gestures but ultimately it comes down to how confident you feel in your own skin. 

They say, “Clothes make the person”.  That is a true statement for almost anyone but we all know how hard it is to find that perfect sexy “outfit” for an evening with our husband.  If there’s the slightest thing that doesn’t feel right about the outfit… you can forget it.   No doubt for me and maybe you it’s time consuming and frustrating, especially if you’re like me, when most of what you try on, makes you look like a kids play-doh fun factory.  Or… when after peeking out of the dressing room to see if the coast is clear, you hear your husband laugh and say, “I think you have that on upside down, backwards, or actually the less embarrassing, inside out.”   That’s ok…don’t give up!  Keep searching until you find the perfect fit and feel.  It’s out there.  Once you figure out a good style for you, stick with it, until you’re brave enough to be more daring. 

Believe it or not, wearing a modest dress or nice skirt during the day can also make you feel sexy.  (It took me awhile to understand that.)  I was a tom boy of sorts and never liked wearing skirts much.  But over the years I have certainly changed my tune.  Even just heels for me whether paired with a skirt or blue jeans will immediately make me feel sexier. 

Again, they say “Clothes make the person” but really it’s the confidence people see that turns heads.  Think about this….no woman in the scriptures was ever condemned for looking beautiful.  (only deeds)  We can read about many women such as Sarah, Rachel, Ruth and even the excellent wife of Proverbs. 

Proverbs 31:22 

She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

This can be an exciting endeavor searching for renewed sexuality but keep in mind another passage for not going overboard.  

1 Timothy 2:9 

Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments,…

Out of the Closet

Early in my marriage, my husband had bought me numerous lingerie outfits.  After awhile of them each only being worn once, he stopped.  I was sad that he felt the need to say he would no longer buy them for that reason. 

I mean, I did enjoy wearing them…on special occasions that is.  For me, it was a lack of desire and effort.  In part it was because I wasn’t happy with the way I looked.  Regardless of how sexy my husband thought I was, I just couldn’t see how he thought that.  That outfit didn’t look as good on me as it did the model in the picture.  In the beginning I was too thin.  Then after a few years, I was overweight and depressed.  Mostly brought on by meds or really when you get down to it….overeating. 

Several years ago my doctor yelled at me to lose some weight.  So I finally did.  I even kept it off because I finally felt sexy again.  My desire had gradually become better over the years but after I lost weight it was amazing.  The new zeal and energy was phenomenal.  I began going through my closet, tossing all my fat clothes and wearing clothes again that I hadn’t put on in years.  Yes that included all those lingerie gowns.  I’m sure they wanted to yell… “Yay, I’m finally out of the closet!” 

But like those old/new sexy clothes in the back of our closets… is our ability to teach the younger women how to be there for their husbands. It's not enough to say the Bible says you should love your husband and that's that.  

Titus 2:4 

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,   

Let them know it's ok to be sexy for him.  Being sexy for our husbands keeps the devil away. Especially during those early years before our marriage has the chance to become strong.   

No I don't mean tell them private “details” obviously but I think we have clear examples in the scriptures that we would do well to keep in mind. 

Hebrews 13:4  

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.   

If we can’t teach the younger women nor ourselves the importance of our sexual needs we may all be in jeopardy of defiling our marriages by letting the devil in with great temptations.  

So bring out those old or new lingerie outfits and enjoy being a sexy wife!  

  

Bed Bug Problems

Can’t get rid of those pesky little bed bugs?  No I’m not talking about any actual bed bugs rather I’m referring to those cute little bed bugs AKA…our children.  

My little bed bugs love to try and sneak in when they can.  I thought my Mom was horrible for always kicking me out of their bed. Now I know why.  1) I slept better in my own bed…well actually mother slept better with me in my own bed, 2) it’s really hard to be sexy and have an intimate moment with your husband if your kids are in bed every night with you. 

When is this a problem?

The problem isn't over a good night's sleep or when to be intimate exactly. However over the years, during my counseling of moms, I’ve heard many women say they would keep their children in bed for the sole purpose of deterring their husbands from even asking for intimate moments.  


When women get to this point they become like camels.  Each intimate moment can be stored up for days, weeks and even months before they NEED another one. 


THIS IS A...BED BUG PROBLEM.  Granted this problem is bigger than the kids sleeping in the same bed as you but it won’t help encourage overcoming the problem if you never have a night alone. 

1 Corinthians 7:3 

The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.  

Having noted this, getting by with as little as possible in fulfilling this duty is setting your husband up for temptations.  


If you’re looking for this excuse to call it quits hoping for the right to remarry I beg you to search your heart.  Find a way to love your husband and rekindle the fire.  Check that... “I've got a headache, too sleepy, too busy, I feel icky, etc” list of reasons and make sure they aren’t excuses.  You may find there are a lot more excuses than true reasons to not be intimate than a mere bug problem. 

Keep in mind, while a better night’s sleep for you and your child is important (if that's an issue), it should be more of a treat for your children on special occasions to be allowed in bed, rather than a special treat for your hubby for them to be gone.  

That is, unless you and your husband have agreed bed bugs are what you want.  :0) 

Remember…being sexy goes a long way for your self esteem and ultimately your marriage. 

 

The Hot Soccer Mom

Soccer mom, cheerleading mom, 4-H mom, baseball mom, cub scout mom or a girl scout mom.  Whatever kind of young mom you may be, there is one fact we all have in common….we need to feel sexy.  Or at least we should want to.  Unfortunately we’ve all read or heard how we should be more worried about being a good mom than being some sex symbol sitting on the side lines.  

Don’t get me wrong…I think being a mom is VERY important.  However, being a happy sexy wife should be too.  I was once told our priorities should always be…

God, husband and then kids.  

I truly believe it too.  Happy parents equals happy kids.  

Our husbands need us to be sexy and feminine.  I’m not meaning wear a mini skirt and heels to your child’s soccer game.  Ok maybe the heels!  Unfortunately when we become a mom being a sexy wife goes out the window.  I know I thought only in terms of; everything I do, wear or speak about defines me as a “good mom”.  

Fact is, you may be a great mom too but we should ask ourselves, are we an equally great wife?  Does our children rule our time and pleasure?  Is our ever waking moment spent taking the kids here and there with a sprinkle of cleaning around the house with no time for intimate moments?  I thought being a good mom meant I was a great wife too.  I constantly asked myself…“But shouldn't my husband love me regardless of how often we’re together and besides, does sex really matter that much?”  I now understand…yes he should and yes, sex is VERY important to men but more importantly it should have been to me too.  

After counseling numerous women and living it…feeling sexy should be very important to a woman because a lack thereof causes depression and lack of libido.   If you find yourself already there my advice is to make sex a habit rather than a chore.  

Having health problems, I had lots of excuses not to.  Until one day I decided, my husband and I would be together every day no matter what.  It wasn’t over night but eventually it was no longer just a habit but a very good one.  

I know for some, it sounds extreme and a bit overboard but I look at it like this….you will not gain extra weight by NOT eating the yummy cake in front of you?  Neither will your libido gain “weight” or your depression improve if you never want to be intimate with your husband.  It takes effort.  

Even Ruth was told by Naomi to clean up and look nice for Boaz.  Why….he had already seen her working in the fields and thought she was beautiful?  The same reason we made an effort when we were teenagers.  So she would feel sexy and so he would find her more attractive because she felt confident in her sexuality.  

Think about this…that wife you judged as being a hot soccer mom more concerned with her looks, (who by the way may have been texting with her husband while he was working), probably went home and had an amazing intimate moment with him escalating their happiness and ultimately their kids.  So the next time you see a hot soccer mom, make sure you’re looking in the mirror.